


//Ghost of You//

by Alley_Walk (AlleyWalk_writes), Tod der Fata Morgana (AlleyWalk_writes)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Tui, Body Dysphoria, Captivity, Edgar just wants to keep them safe, F/F, F/M, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Hallucinations, M/M, Misgendering, No beta we die like illiterates, Nonbinary Alma Karma, OC insert, POV Alma Karma, POV Edgar Chan Martin, POV Genet, POV Kanda Yuu, Parental!Edgar, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Female Character, an OC who has character flaws and makes mistakes, big difference there, don't mess with her, ik they freak me out too, look forward to that, not OC self-insert, please pay attention to the tags people, seriously don't, slight bugs warning, they gotta figure some stuff out first, we're going off the rails from canon people, well... they will be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-06-30 02:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19844029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlleyWalk_writes/pseuds/Alley_Walk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlleyWalk_writes/pseuds/Tod%20der%20Fata%20Morgana
Summary: His (her) hands burned with the phantom pain of burn scars that were not there. His (her) shoulder blades itched with a phantom sensation that he could not name. And Genet was always looking to the side, for someone that was not there.A drop of water makes a ripple, and a ripple makes waves. Genet's presence where she should not be, with her stubborn will, ruthless mindset and self-centered nature, make waves that tear through what should be and whatshould not be.And most of those waves are not of the pleasant kind.After dying of mysterious circumstances, Genet is reborn in the birthing pits of the Second Exorcist Project.





	1. sizzle

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all!
> 
> Yeah, I know, the dreaded OC insert. However, unlike most OC inserts, this is an actual OC, not an OC self-insert. Why is this different? Well, in my opinion, a lot of the flaws with writing an OC self-insert is that you're writing, literally, yourself. And as people all tend to be biased towards themselves, none of the character flaws get shown, leading to a rather boring character who never makes mistakes. (Though there are some exceptions to this rule).
> 
> However, if you are looking for an OC with character flaws and who makes mistakes, look no further. 
> 
> And this will be OFC/OFC, along with some other pairings with canon characters, (if you didn't notice in the tags), so no worries about shipping the OC with a canon character. 
> 
> Also, just a warning. Because of a certain headcanon of mine, the main OC will be trans female. Please click the back button if you don't like this.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for nudity, gender dysphoria, and continued misgendering by others and by self.
> 
> If you can get through that, enjoy! ^^
> 
> See y'all at the bottom!
> 
> Edit: edited out Genet's burn scars, because while I had a headcanon explanation for them, they just didn't really seem plausible. She gets another mildly dislikeable trait instead.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //Arc 1// 
> 
> **~ From the Frying Pan and Into the Fire ~**

**~ sizzle ~**

* * *

They are swimming in a black pit of peace and darkness, the sound of their breathing and the resounding of their heartbeat throughout the space the only sound to be heard. They feel tired and groggy, and it’s a struggle to open their eyes. They find themselves curled up at the bottom of an odd tank of water, the tank completely cylindrical and… tall? They’re immediately annoyed by this. Who thought it was a good idea to put them in a tank of water? Where… where even are they? The last thing they remember is… 

They frown, kicking themselves into a sitting position.

...Do they remember anything?

Anything at all?

They have to have memories. Otherwise they wouldn’t know what a tank is, or what water is.

…Don’t they?

Shaking off their thoughts, they look up at the sound of noise above them. It sounds weird, filtered through the water, but they can kind of make it out. There’s a boy with short spiky hair above them with… they squint to make it out. Blue eyes and a scar across his nose? 

“Hi!” The boy exclaims with a bright smile. “It’s so great to finally meet you! I’ve been alone for so long that I thought nobody would _ever_ wake up!” Their heart pangs at those words. Somehow they don’t like the thought of the boy being alone. “The scientists say your name is Genet.” The boy says.

A pang of familiarity plays across their heart. _Genet’s_ heart. They like it. It seems to fit.

Genet looks up into the boy’s eyes and points at him, their hand rising up out of the water.

The boy rubs his neck, looking embarrassed. “Oh. Me? They call me Alma… Alma Karma.” The bo- _Alma’s_ smile brightens. “C’mon, climb out of there so I can show you around. There’s a bunch of great things out here like mayonnaise and the scientists and mayonnaise...”

Genet crosses their arms stubbornly over their chest. If mayonnaise was the best thing to look forward to, then they were fine staying right here.

“Move aside, Alma. Let me try talking to him.” An adult male voice says. Something the voice said screeches discordantly across Genet’s heart, leaving them–him??–confused and hurt in its presence. 

The man is wearing a white labcoat and has messy blond hair with hazel eyes. He has an almost gentle look about him, which has Genet relaxing a bit, but not much.

“Hello, my name is Edgar Chan Martin.” The man- _Edgar_ says. “I’m the Assistant Chief of the Asian Branch of the Black Order.” Great, an authority figure. Just what he needed. Genet slouches from where he’s seated and sulks, his long black hair floating in a halo around his face. The Assistant Chief pauses. “Are you coming out anytime soon?” He asks, hopeful.

Genet takes a deep breath and blows an underwater raspberry at him.

“Oh, move aside, Edgar. I’ll take care of this.” An adult female voice says, and Genet just has time to catch sight of silky black hair and determined grey eyes before a strong hand wraps around his forearm and drags him to the surface. He kicks and struggles while yelling garbled profanities that he didn’t even know he knew until they passed his lips. He manages to give the black haired woman a good one in the stomach; she ‘oofs’ and drops him to the cold, hard ground. Genet falls into a coughing fit, spewing up all the water that was in his lungs. He finally takes a breath of the cool air around him, his throat feeling sore and his limbs shaky. 

Edgar wraps his labcoat around him. “Come on, let’s go dry you off.” He says, and starts leading the way out of the room to… somewhere. That’s when Genet notices just what sort of room he’s in. It’s cold, and full of fog being emitted from these holes in the ground. The same type of hole that Genet had been in. He didn’t know what to think of it. No memories were coming up to tell him what to think of it. Still, a feeling of uneasiness squirms into his gut, and he forces himself to his feet, hurrying after the two adults.

Alma keeps pace with him, a reassuring smile on his face. “It’s okay. You’re gonna love it here. I just know it.” He says. He grins with a bounce in his step. “So this means we’re friends now, right?”

Genet shrugs. “I guess?”

“Pick up the pace, you two!” The dark haired woman commands, and Alma jumps with an ‘eep!’

“We should listen to her. Tui can be scary when she’s mad.” Alma says in a hushed tone, scurrying ahead easily while Genet struggles to keep pace. He refuses to show this, however, clenching his teeth even as his limbs scream at him to stop and rest.

Finally, they enter a room where Genet can sit down.

They run all kinds of tests on Genet, checking his blood pressure, his heart rate, his breathing, examining him as if looking for flaws in a piece of diamond. They had commented on the freckles on his face, and when Genet looked at them in the mirror he had hated them on sight, thinking they dotted his cheeks like eggs. He had requested that they cut his hair at mid-back, which they had done with some reluctance. The clothes they had given him felt wrong somehow, and they made him feel oddly self-conscious about anyone looking at him.

At the end of the day, Genet passes out from sheer exhaustion.

* * *

He wakes up the next morning to Alma jostling him awake. Genet turns, rolling over and squishing his head into the pillow, bringing most of the blankets with him.

"Genet, come _on!"_ Alma whines, struggling futilely to grab his side of the covers. Genet grunts, reaffirming his grip. So warm. He's not getting up for anything. 

Alma huffs. “Well if I’m up, I’m up. I might as well go down to breakfast. Good luck finding the dining hall without me." Alma says impishly.

The sudden thought of food sends all thoughts of sleep from Genet's mind. He sits up in bed. "Alright, I'm up, I'm up." He mutters. Rubbing at his eyes, he yawns hugely, stretching his arms out high above his head. He's never done that before, but it felt relieving, as well as tiring.

Swinging his legs out over the side of his and Alma's shared bed, Genet sets his bare feet on the cold stone floor and sets about getting ready for the day. It's almost troubling, how his memories will tell him things with no context of where the knowledge is from.

"Get dressed," the memories command. "No, _clean_ clothes, not dirty ones, dumbass!" At least, that's how Genet imagines the memories to sound, if they _could_ talk.

Soon the two are walking down to breakfast, Alma commentating on anything he sees. Genet just looks around, trying to get a feel for this place. It'd be terrible to get lost.

They enter the dining hall to the rush of noise of the breakfast crowd, Genet can barely hear Alma's voice over the chatter in the room. Genet sticks close to Alma, not liking the loud noise of the crowd. Alma turns to him and smiles reassuringly, and he takes his hand, leading him between the tables towards a window where a balding old man waits. Genet yanks his hand out of his as soon as they reach the window, putting it innocently against his side. _Me, needing to hold someone's hand? I don't think so._

The old man smiles down at Alma. "And what can I get for you today, Alma? More mayonnaise, I suspect?" His eyes zero in on Genet, who resists the urge to squirm under his sharp gaze. "So who’s your new friend?" He asks with a knowing smile.

Alma's face brightens and he immediately throws himself across the counter. "Master Zhu! Master Zhu! You won’t believe it! His name is Genet, and he’s so awesome! He stole all the covers this morning, but he was half asleep so I don’t think that matters-!"

It’s the smell of delicious food in the air, and _not_ embarrassment, that causes Genet to cut in, impatient. "So is there any actual food around here or is the dining hall just for show?" He asks.

The old ma- _Master Zhu_ lifts an eyebrow. "Hungry, now, are you?"

"Starving." Genet says with a scowl. _Don't look down on me, old man!_

Master Zhu raises an eyebrow at his tone but seems to ignore it. Genet seethes. "Alright, well what would you like?" Master Zhu asks. "I can make just about anything."

Genet huffs, frowning in thought, trying to remember if he has any particular preferences. He shrugs when he can't think of anything specific. "Just something that tastes good, with no weird textures." Genet says.

"Ah, a picky eater, are you?" Zhu asks with a mischievous glint in his eye. Genet bares his teeth, fingers splayed out into claws. What was that supposed to mean?!

“I would like-” Alma starts.

“Chicken salad with extra mayo on the side, if I’m not mistaken?” Master Zhu asks, eyes glinting with amusement.

Alma pouts. “I could’ve asked for an egg salad sandwich!” He complains.

Master Zhu tilts his head. “Do you want an egg salad sandwich, Alma?”

Alma bounces up with a grin, seemingly recovered from his sulk. “Chicken salad’s fine! Thanks Master Zhu!”

Master Zhu nods to them both. “Just wait here and your orders will be ready soon.”

Something occurs to Genet as they stand waiting. “We’re not going to have to pay for all this, are we?”

Alma blinks at him, as if confused. His eyes lighten with realization, and he says sheepishly, “Oh. You mean Edgar didn’t explain it to you?” He huffs. “Figures he’d leave it to me.”

Genet narrows his eyes dangerously. “Explain _what_ exactly?”

“Here are your orders, boys.” Master Zhu says, placing two dishes down on the countertop. A twinge of pain goes through Genet’s heart, and he can’t meet Master Zhu’s eyes as he snatches his plate off the countertop for the emotions churning in his gut. Alma scurries off ahead of him, looking for a place for them both to sit.

They finally find a table that’s only half full, mostly because as soon as they sit down most of the people move to the opposite end of the table. Genet shoots them a glare merely out of principle. 

As Alma take a bite of his chicken salad sandwich while Genet takes sips of his water and mostly picks at… whatever sandwich he’s been given, Genet asks expectantly, “well?”

Alma looks up from spooning mayonnaise into his mouth to smile nervously. He swallows, then takes a drink of his water. After there’s no more reason to stall and Genet is thoroughly annoyed, Alma smiles nervously and begins. “Well, to be perfectly honest, I don’t know that much other than what Dr Edgar and the others told me. They told me we were created to fight the Akuma and win the Holy war.”

Genet frowns and wracks his brain for any memories regarding such things. But there’s nothing there. He hates to be uninformed, so he supposes he’ll have to ask Alma. “The what?” Genet asks, tilting his head in confusion.

“The Holy War,” Alma says, “is the war between the humans and the Akuma.” Genet opens his mouth. “Akuma is another word for demon.” Alma explains before Genet can ask. Genet huffs in affront at being interrupted.

“How are _we_ supposed to fight them?” Genet questions. He’s not scared, no. He’d really just like to not be eaten as some demon’s supper.

Alma expression becomes muted. “That’s where Innocence comes in, and also, where we come in.” He sighs with a small smile. “Innocence is the power that can destroy all Akuma, and we’ve been created to do just that.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “The Synchro testing can be… hard, but you’ll get used to it. It’s not even that bad, really!” He says with a laugh.

And this time when he smiles, his smile is fake and pained, his eyes filled with something Genet can’t name.

He’s sure he’ll find out soon enough, though.


	2. scorch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genet makes a mistake.
> 
> Yuu just wants to go back to sleep.
> 
> Edgar is concerned.
> 
> And Alma plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!
> 
> 1 kudos and 2 hits! 
> 
> That's awesome... considering this is D. Gray-Man and also an OC insert fic.
> 
> This fandom... jeez. But you gotta love it.
> 
> I don't have much of a chapter buffer, but it was my birthday yesterday, so I feel like updating. ^^
> 
> Also, things are heating up this chapter, so things get... dark. Just a warning.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for repeated misgendering by others and by self, violence, blood, suicidal thoughts, and hallucinations.

**~ scorch ~**

* * *

Later on during breakfast, Genet had finally taken a bite of his sandwich and discovered it had pickles in it. He also discovered that he _hated_ pickles. Picking apart the sandwich, he had thrown the offending pickles at Alma, one hitting him right in the forehead. “Hey!” Alma yells, offended. He picks up the remains of his chicken salad sandwich and throws it at Genet.

Genet ducks.

It hits a scientist who had just gotten his food square in the chest and then lands in his soup. The scientist’s face darkens, and he vaults his tray towards the two children, who both duck and cover under the table. The soup ends up landing further down the table, right on a scientist’s glorious mohawk. 

The mohawk guy looks up with a murderous expression on his face.

Scooping two handfuls of steak pie in his hands, he yells, _“you don’t mess with the ‘hawk, brothers!”_

And chaos reigns.

What would later be called the Scientists V.S Exorcist Food Turf War would still traumatize some into the future. (Mostly that mohawk guy, who was still mourning his hairstyle, and Alma, who mourned the loss of his mayonnaise).

But of course, not everything was all fun and games.

* * *

Genet stands panting, body shaking with fatigue as blood runs down his body in rivulets. Water sloshes up to his ankles, the water tinted pink with his own blood. He stares at the _thing_ and imagines that it stares back. The white block-like head attached to its neck which slides down to its shoulders and torso, fused to some sort of machine, spiny wings twisting out from behind its back. 

Genet loathes it with every fibre of his being.

_“Beginning Synchro test number 78 for test subject 02 in 3… 2… 1…”_

Genet reaches for the Innocence, loathing roiling in his chest, and grits his teeth as the wings pierce his sides. _I don’t want you._ Genet thinks. _I hate you. Just go away._

A scream is ripped from Genet’s throat, and the next thing he knows he’s lying in the pool of water, his body broken. He hears the countdown for his estimated time of healing, but he doesn’t care. He wants this to stop now.

He stumbles to his feet, gritting his teeth through the pain. He hears Alma scream in pain, but he can’t focus on that right now, as much as he might want to. He focuses on the CROW in his path, their red garb thoroughly hiding their features. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Genet rasps.

“You must. You are an apostle of God.” The CROW replies cooly.

Genet’s anger reaches a boiling point. “So what?! Why… why should I care what you made me for? I should be able to live my own life as I please, not just do whatever the fuck you say!” Genet’s almost amazed at what he’s hearing, these new thoughts and ideas that never occurred to him before, that never seemed possible before. “I’m not doing it and you can’t make me!” He crosses his arms across his bare chest, suddenly wishing he was wearing something more intimidating than a pair of weird shorts with a strap over his chest.

The CROW tilts their head, though Genet can’t see their expression. “You refuse to Synchronize?” They ask, in a low, cold voice. A chill goes down Genets spine at the hidden threat.

Still, he refuses to back down just because some CROW has their panties in a twist. Genet nods, baring his teeth with a glare. “Yeah, I do.”

The CROW glances up to somewhere Genet can’t discern, and as if on some unforeseen signal, they attack. Spell tags fly from their sleeves and Genet’s eyes widen. He tries to make a break for it, only to slip on the stone beneath his feet. He comes down hard on his knees, the spell tags circling around him and binding with a crackle of light. His body suddenly seems three times as heavy as normal. He struggles in his binding, only to bite the inside of his lip to muffle a scream as electricity shoots through him. Genet lays limp, stunned, as the CROW maneuvers and controls the circle of spell tags, making them float in the air with Genet trapped inside. 

He can faintly hear the sounds of someone screaming. But it quickly fades away. His ears are ringing, and he can taste copper in his mouth from where he bit his cheek too hard. His whole body feels like its been stabbed with thousands of knives, aching as if it were a giant bruise. He’s finally thrown to the ground, his body protesting at the cold stone beneath him. He groans, looking up into the light coming in from the doorway. The last thing he sees is the mask of the CROW, gleaming in the light, before the door slams shut, leaving Genet in darkness.

* * *

Genet chafes the skin of his arms with his hands, trying desperately to gather some warmth. The cell around him is dark and cold, the only light coming in through a barred window too high for him to reach. _Not that I’ve tried._ No, Genet has stayed rooted in his corner, only leaving to go to the bathroom in what he’s begun to call the “dump corner,” which has stunk up the room more and more as time goes on.

But despite the smell, Genet isn’t going to budge first. They won’t hear him crying to be released any time soon. If he did that, he’d have to keep doing the Synchro testing. Despite the smell, despite the hunger churning in his gut, he’ll make them budge first. They need him, after all. They can’t let him stay here and die of hunger. At least, not too many times.

…Right?

Shaking his head, Genet sets his jaw and waits.

* * *

Edgar was worried about the kids. Not just his own kid; though Bak was doing fine, and coming along as a brilliant scientist in his own right. Edgar couldn't love him more. No, who he was worried about were the kids of the Second Exorcist Project. Tui and Zhu had made the executive decision to split up the newest Exorcist from Alma, despite what they have in common, so they couldn't scheme together. 

And while Edgar didn't doubt scheming would go on if Alma managed to get to Yuu, he thought that his family often forgot that the Exorcist children were just that; children. Sure, Genet had said he hadn't wanted to synchronize with the Innocence anymore, but he was a child, he didn't understand what was at stake. What it had cost them to create them in the first place. 

Edgar doesn't regret it. All the fresh faces he got to meet, all the children he got to see. The lies, the secrets, those he regrets.

That's why when he sees Alma sneak out of his room, he turns on his heel and walks away as if he hadn't seen a thing, a soft, regretful smile on his face.

* * *

Genet doesn't know how long he's been in this cell. Hours blur into days blur into months blur into years. Soon his mind runs rampant and everything takes on a dream like quality to it. The world is awash in dreams and images that might be real, or might be elaborate hallucinations from the depths of Genet's mind. He doesn't know. He can no longer tell. Across from him, a man with dark, messy hair and piercing green eyes leans against the wall. He shakes his head. "You're killin' me, kid." 

The man disappears, and in his place is a woman with dark silky hair falling like a waterfall down her back, golden eyes glancing at Genet, something dark and hidden in her gaze. A phantom breeze blows, whipping the woman's hair about her face. And then she's moving away, walking down a path that Genet can't follow. "Wait!" Genet cries, as a pang of longing goes through her. "Please, wait for me!" She reaches out, only to be met with a cold stone wall. The image disappears. She scrabbles desperately at the stone, but the image won't come back no matter how hard he tries.

Genet collapses against the wall, letting his advanced healing seal up his bloody, broken fingertips.

_What was that?_

Before Genet can ruminate on what just happened, he hears a noise from above. He quickly looks up, because whether the noise was hallucination or not, the rainwater that came from that window had saved Genet's life more than once. He had already died once of dehydration, only for his heart to start beating once more, his throat just as dry and his lips just as chapped as before. He had long stopped feeling his hunger, though he wondered how long he would last before he started dying of hunger, too.

_They'll let me out before then, right?_

_…right?_

Looking above, Genet can see something small framed in the light. Then it tips forward and falls. Rushing forward on shaky legs, Genet cups his palms together and just barely manages to catch it. In the small light of the window above, Genet can make out what it is. It's a brown Finch, looking slightly stunned from her fall. She ruffles her feathers and seems to settle herself. Genet expects her to immediately jump up and fly away, but instead she examines him with one soft green eye and settles back down into Genet's cupped hands. 

_O…kay._

Genet licks his lips. He knows eating raw bird is bad, but he's _so hungry,_ and this bird is _right here,_ making itself completely defenseless. 

His fingers clench around the bird, and it cheeps in pain, and shifts. And Genet catches sight of its wing. Too small and weak to hold her weight, it was a wonder she had survived this long. A pang goes through Genet's chest, of something familiar and recent. He lets go of the bird, careful of her wings. The bird shifts, watching him warily.

Genet takes a deep breath. Would talking to a bird be stupid? Probably. But stupid's what got him in this mess in the first place.

Would it be wiser to back down and say he's sorry?

Probably.

But Genet has never been wise.

"I'm sorry." Genet says. The Finch perks up, tilting her head to look at him. "I've just been trapped in here so long and… well, it'd be nice to eat something."

The Finch seems to consider, before hopping with a flap of her wings up to Genet's forearm, and then his shoulder. She points with her beak up towards the window, letting out a musical chirp. Genet's heart jumps with excitement, never mind the impossibility of a bird that can understand a human. "You mean you'll really get me something? Real food?" Genet asks hopefully. The Finch chirps an affirmative.

Genet steps up to the wall below the barred window, standing shakily on his toes while holding Fin–as he had dubbed her–as high as he can up near the windows. Dammit! He knows he's not very tall, shorter than Alma, even, but this shouldn't be that hard! He knows they're not going to make it, not as they are. 

So he takes a chance. 

"Sorry, Fin." Genet mutters.

Then he launches a very surprised and very displeased bird up into the air. Either way, he gets dinner. But Fin manages to make it up into the window, and is quite justified when her tail feathers twitch, sending a rather different present right down on Genet's head.

"OH C'MON!"

* * *

Yuu is confused as fuck.

First he fucking climbs out of a literal hole in the ground, then these goddamned scientists won’t stop poking and prodding at him, and just when he’s about to explode, a man named Edgar waves them off and starts giving him a lecture about some holy war or some shit. Yuu wasn’t really listening at that point.

Sitting on a lonely cot in a lonely room meant for one, Yuu rubs at his chest. The heavy feeling won’t go away, and he takes a deep breath to try to throw the weight off of his chest. It was still there. Yuu kicks his feet, angry and listless. 

_I hate it here._

_I just want to go back to sleep._

The door to Yuu’s room suddenly bursts open, and Yuu turns with a snarl on his face to see a boy with coloring shockingly like his with spiky hair instead of cut to his neck. “Oh, good, I’ve finally found you!” The boy smiles, but it seems strained. He glances out into the hallway as if checking for people watching and then quietly shuts the door.

“Who the fuck are you and why do you look like me?” Yuu demands.

The spiky haired boy looks confused. “You mean Edgar didn’t explain it to you?”

“No.” Yuu snaps, to cover up his embarrassment.

The boy runs his hand through his hair. “Okay, I’ll explain it to you then. But it’s gotta be quick. So, we’re…”

The boy–Alma–explains what he knows, which is surprisingly little. Yuu is not satisfied with that amount of information, but he supposed it will do for now. 

“But that’s not what’s important right now.” Alma says seriously. Yuu shoots him a pointed look. _Get to the point._ “They’ve locked up Genet. He’s one of us, and a good friend of mine. They’re probably not giving him any food or water, and I just…” Alma runs his hand through his hair, looking away. He meets Yuu’s eyes and says in a determined voice, “We need to save him.”

Yuu wants to be here even less now than he did before.

He doesn’t even know this “Genet.” The smart thing to do would be to leave him to his own devices.

He doesn’t give a shit about Alma either, so why is he hesitating?

Maybe it’s because he’s only been here a few hours, but he already hates this place. 

And maybe it’s because he wants to get back at them, those scientists, for waking him up when he should have just stayed asleep.

So when Yuu agrees, and Alma’s face lights up, he only regrets it a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, canonically, there was this quote that Yuu said while he was at the labs in Asia Branch that just screamed depression to me. _"It's so dark... and it's so hard to breathe. Why am I... here?"_ That quote still sticks with me, because with my own depression, it seemed obvious to me that Yuu didn't even want to _be there,_ he just wanted to go back to sleep, which is frankly, suicidal thinking, or at least close to it.  
> That is, until he became friends with Alma. I headcanon that Alma forced him out of his shell, of sort of anger and solitude, and made him talk and interact and actually accomplish things. And the more you do that, the better you feel.
> 
> Also, I love Edgar POV's. I don't know why, but I do. Expect a lot of those in the future. Maybe I should add a Papa!Edgar tag? what do y'all think? 
> 
> Comments?
> 
> Kudos?
> 
> "Echo!" _echo... echo... echo..._
> 
> *crickets remain silent, not impressed*
> 
> *sigh*
> 
> Okay, see y'all next chap!


	3. heating up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note, I have... no idea how to write ten year olds? And I didn’t feel like de-characterizing Kanda and Alma, so... past memories? Yeah. Past memories. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

**~ heating up ~**

* * *

"Wow! This makeup looks so good on you, Genet!" Alma exclaimed.

Genet blinked, holding up the handheld mirror to look at his face. "Really? You think so?"

"Yeah! Just look in the mirror and see!" 

Genet looked in the mirror and

–curly red hair, deep brown skin, slate grey eyes staring her in the face–

awakes with a gasp. She pants, feeling disoriented. Genet touches his face, covering it with his hands.  _ That wasn't my face! That wasn't… _ He takes deep breaths of air. And yet it felt so right, that face. More right than the face he was currently wearing. 

And that felt terrifying. 

Genet sighs out a breath through his nose, slowly calming down. He uncovers his hands from his face and looks down at them.

Pale peachy skin, dirty and covered with grime. Something about that just makes Genet feel uncomfortable in his own skin, a squirming, anxious feeling that brings bile to the back of his throat. He hugs himself, feeling sick. He's suddenly not so hungry.

_ What's wrong with me? _

Genet sort of hopes he never gets the answer to that question.

* * *

Alma Karma is anxious.

He's honestly not sure what to do in this sort of situation. He doesn't like it when people fight. Has never liked it. He's always wanted to make friends and avoid conflict, so when conflict is shoved right in his face of the disturbingly messy kind, he doesn't know what to do.

Except he knew that he had to help Genet.

Because no one had been there to help Alma when he said 'no.' It took three days alone in a cell and dying of dehydration twice before he broke. Alma never forgave them.

It's why he has to be there to save Genet, and why they have to be there to save Yuu. Alma sniffles. He tries to keep positive, he really does, but… this family really is sorta messed up, huh?

"Oi, idiot." 

Alma blinks himself out of his thoughts and looks over at Yuu from where he's sitting on the other side of the bed. "Y-You mean me?" 

Yuu scoffs. "You heard what I said." Alma flushes, indignant. "We need a game plan, here. We can't just go flying off with no plan. What can you bring to the table?"

For the first time in awhile, Alma grins.

* * *

Genet is picking at the bird shit in his hair when Fin–who has been demoted to the name Dumpster after the incident with the window–hops up to the window holding something particularly squirmy in her beak.

Genet stares. 

She can't be serious.

Genet stands on shaky feet and scowls at the bird. He steps forward and tries to shoo her away. "Shoo! Shoo! Go find me something else!" He hisses in a low voice.

Dumpster tilts her head, eyes gleaming with amusement. With a musical chirp she throws herself off the edge of the window, wings fluttering on her way down.

_ That stupid suicidal bird! _ Genet thinks. He races forward, just barely catching her in the palm of his hand. Dumpster looks up at him with complete calmness, completely unruffled by her fall. Then Dumpster spits the wriggling, slimy worm onto Genet's palm.

Genet's first thought is that, getting past the sliminess, it's not really big enough to eat. What is he thinking? Just a second ago he was begging to eat something else, anything else.

But there is nothing else.

Only this worm, given to him by this bird.

Genet swallows.

Well, when in Rome.

* * *

Alma is walking down the hallway when they bump into a CROW. Their heart thumps loudly in their chest, and they bow deeply as they apologize, "I'm so sorry, sir! Ma'am. CROW person-"

"You are forgiven, apostle." The CROW says coldly, continuing past Alma down the hallway, missing their sly smile.

Alma continues normally down the hallway, taking some side trips to make sure they weren't followed, until they go up and up to the prison cells. Alma knows that these cells are rumored to be near the outside. Alma sometimes even fancies that they got to see the sky, inside that cell. But whenever they try to think about it, they draw up a blank. 

Shaking off their thoughts, they stop outside prison cell 2c, where Alma was sure they heard two CROW talking about a prisoner transfer taking place there.

Alma looks around, but they can't spot Yuu anywhere. They whisper, "Yuu? Yuu? Where are you?"

"Quiet, idiot!" Came Yuu's voice from right behind them, and Alma jumps with a small 'eep!' His voice softens. "Keep your voice down."

"Right." Alma says sarcastically. They were being plenty quiet!

"Did you get the keys?" Yuu asks.

Alma smirks and fishes them out of their pocket. "Easy as pie." Their eyes lock, and for a moment Alma feels as though they're in a different time, a different place than before, with the same exchange passed and the same words spoken. The moment passes, Yuu's gaze sliding off their's, suddenly uncomfortable for a reason they can't name.

Sliding the key into the door, Alma turns the lock and pulls the door open.

Only to be met with complete emptiness.

* * *

"We've been duped." Yuu says, crossing his arms over his chest. He's still wondering why he's even fucking here. He could have left at any point and nobody but crybaby over there would have cared. And possibly the jailbird, but if he doesn't get out it's not like it'll ever come back to bite Yuu in the ass.

But maybe it's because of that stupid crybaby that he's still here. It's because of all his fussing and whining that Yuu even cares about being here.

He takes a deep breath, that heavy weight settling just a bit lighter on his chest. Not gone, and probably never gone, not in a place like this. But… better. Than before.

His eyes catch on an odd glowing strip of paper. "What the hell is this?" Yuu exclaims irritably, reaching out to grab it. 

Alma's eyes catch on the piece of paper just as Yuu grabs hold of it. "Yuu, no! Don’t!" He yells, and all Yuu can think is, you idiot, we were supposed to be going for stealth!

And then the piece of paper lights up brightly in his hands, red-orange like a mini fire in his hands. He drops it but he’s too late. More lights bloom out behind Alma, eclipsing the boy in light, until it seems as though there are hundreds of candle flames flickering to life behind him. Alma looks behind himself and curses.

He takes Yuu’s hand in his and starts running down the stairs, away from the cells. Yuu follows. Feeling the urge to yank his hand out of Alma’s he instead takes the lead, his longer strides pulling them along, making Alma pick up the pace.

“What the fuck was that?” Yuu demands, slightly out of breath.

“Those were CROW Alert Tags.” Alma says grimly. “They’re used by the CROW to alert them to a threat once they’ve been tripped, sort of like their very own guard dog.” 

Yuu curses. Just what the hell have they gotten themselves into?

As they reach the hallways they find them practically bustling with CROW, all heading in the opposite direction that they are, to the prison cells. Some are already spreading out, as if to search the area. All of them look to be on high alert. As they’re passing by leagues and leagues of CROW, Yuu’s sensitive hearing catches snatches of hushed conversation. 

_ "We need to find prisoner 117!” _ One CROW commands to another.

_ “-she's become unfrozen-" _ Unfrozen? What the fuck?

_ "But I thought she was transferred?" _ Another questions.

Yuu looks over his shoulder and shoots a glare at Alma, who has the decency to flush, wearing a sheepish smile.

Yuu’s not looking where he’s going, so it’s not his fault when he bumps into someone. He looks up and meets the hazel eyes of Edgar. Yuu swallows, dread dropping like a stone in his gut.

“You two.” Edgar says. “What are you doing here?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... 
> 
> How about that cliffie, huh?
> 
> Comments?
> 
> Kudos?
> 
> See y'all next chap.


	4. rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genet finally escapes and also has a realization about herself.
> 
> She meets Yuu and instant shenanigans ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!
> 
> So, I'm not sure if I said anything about the update schedule, but, basically, I'm updating every time I get a three chapter buffer between the next chapter and what I'm writing now. (Though in my head I really count it as four so that I can post and still have three?? I'm weird that way). So, yeah, right now I'm on, like, chapter eight. XD
> 
> So, yeah, here's the next chapter!
> 
> It's a little on the short side, sorry. This just seemed like a good stopping point, a lot like with chapter 2. This can also go the other way, however, like with chapter 7, which is a whopping 4-5k. (Well, that's big for me. I'm a tremendously slow writer. ;^^)
> 
> So yeah, look forward to that! ^^
> 
> Trigger warnings for bugs and the eating of them, hallucinations, and questioning reality. (I know that one probably won't affect most people, but for some, it's pretty bad).

**~ rise ~**

* * *

“You two.” Edgar says with a frown. “What are you doing here?”

They really shouldn’t be here, they could get trampled within this crowd. He frowns, assessing Yuu’s glare and defensive posture and Alma’s carefully neutral face and guilty posture. He blinks. Cell 2c’s Alarm Tags had been activated… 

_ Ah. I see. _

He resists the urge to grin, ruffle their hair, and tell them how proud of them he is. They are not his children. Not really. As much of him that went into making them, as much of himself that he can never get back, they are not his. A father would not treat his sons as he is. A father would not  _ do _ what he has done to them. As much as he doesn’t want to, as much as his first hopes and dreams for this project had been shattered along with the first set of children to be put to sleep forever, he is, and he has. So he has no right to claim them as such.

“You two should be in your rooms.” Edgar says sternly. “You don’t want to get lost in this crowd.”

Yuu scowls at him, but Alma says, downtrodden,“Yes, Dr Edgar.”

Edgar nods, as if to himself. “Oh, and one last thing.” He says, as the kids are turning to move past him. They look back, a rebellious light in both their eyes. “The prison cell 4b is forbidden. Don’t go there no matter what.” And then, Edgar  _ winks. _ “I hope to see you two back to your rooms in a timely manner.” He says. Then he shoves his hands in his labcoat pockets, turns, and walks away. 

* * *

Alma looks at Yuu incredulously. “Did he really just-” Dr Edgar  _ winked _ . He’s… supporting us? Alma had always known that Dr Edgar was one of the best people here. He’s always super nice, and he always respects Alma’s boundaries and actually treats him like a kid, like a  _ person _ , instead of a glorified object meant to win the Holy War.

But to think he would go that far… 

Isn't he risking his position?

Yuu tightens his grip on Alma's hand. "There's no time to lose. We've got a distraction, let's use it."

Alma nods, determined. "Right. Let's go."

With that they change their direction, moving with the crowd instead of against it. 

We're coming, Genet.

Just wait a little longer.

* * *

Genet promises herself that as soon as she gets out of here, she and Alma are going to steal that Tui woman's makeup. They can have fun, and do up each other's faces. And eat. Eat all the food in the world. So long as there are no pickles on them.

He sighs, thunking his head back against the wall. He looks up only to see a knife flying towards him. His heart jumps in his chest, and he rolls to the side, coming up in a fighting stance-

The knife isn't there.

Neither is the knife wielder. 

A flash of messy black hair and piercing green eyes. " _ You're still slower than me, kid." _

Genet pants, pulling at his hair and squeezing his eyes shut. She crumples to the floor, folding his legs up to his chest.  _ Who was that man? _ Genet hisses as phantom pains run across his burn scars, rubbing at his hands to try to ease the pain. 

He hears a familiar musical chirp, and looks up at the window to see Dumpster perched on the edge. Genet gets up and walks over, and the bird jumps down into his cupped palms. It's become almost routine. Genet runs his hand appreciatively through Dumpster's feathers, the bird giving a happy chirrup. She holds up the wriggling centipede and Genet takes it without complaint, chewing and swallowing it down with only a faint grimace.

After that first bug, it had been surprisingly easy, to switch into a mindset where only her survival mattered. And if that meant eating a few bugs, then, well, she'll deal. After the first few times she had actually gotten used to the taste. Not that it tasted  _ good _ , but, well, you can get used to anything, with time.

Hopefully captivity isn't on the list.

Genet is pacing around his cell like a caged animal, like he often does when the hallucinations get to him, when his cell door opens.

He sees Alma and another boy with blue eyes and dark hair in the doorway. Genet just stands there and waits for them to do something, unsure if this is dream or reality. 

"Genet…" Alma whispers, seemingly horrified. Even the other boy seems perturbed.

Alma gentles. "Come on, Genet. Let's get you cleaned up. Come on, it's okay…" Had she tensed? Genet wasn't sure. Everything that was once sharp and laser focused was suddenly blurry and indistinct around her.

…was she crying?

No, Genet never cried.

She wasn't sure how she was so sure of that, but she was.

The next thing Genet knows, she's sitting on her and Alma's bed, with a mug of soup in his hands. She inhales the warm scent with a smile, thinking,  _ much better than bugs. _ He takes the spoon and puts a small, warm spoonful into his mouth, savouring the taste. The warmth spreads through his stomach after he swallows, and he sighs. He had missed warmth.

"Don't eat that too fast," Alma warns, and Genet jumps, nearly spilling her soup. 

"What the fuck are you so jumpy for?" The new boy asks, scowl in his face.

Genet scowls, baring her teeth. "None of your business." She snaps.

Just wondering if all of this is real or not.

Alma, luckily, seems to understand. "Keep chipping away at that soup. I'm going to get your bath ready."

Genet nods, still focused on the soup. Taking careful spoonfuls and slowly sipping, ignoring the boy by her side.

"Che." Genet's eyes swivel to the boy's. There seems to be a thundercloud building there. He tilts his head, and somehow, he seems more understanding than before. "Here." He takes something out of his pocket and puts it in the soup. A straw.

Genet shoots him a thumbs up. The straw is much more convenient.

After Genet's stomach is satisfied by soup, she feels up to some maybe real, maybe not real conversation. Though the fact that she can consider it's realness at all tips it's favour towards the realness scale. 

"What's your name?" Genet asks.

"Yuu." Yuu answers.  _ Yuu, huh? _ Genet resists the urge to smile devilishly. 

"Me? My name is Genet." Genet says, acting clueless.

"No,  _ Yuu. _ That's my name."

Genet frowns, befuddled. "My name is your name?"

Yuu clenches his fists, scowling darkly.

Genet smiles sweetly.

"Genet, stop teasing Yuu! Yuu, no violence!" Alma yells from within the bathroom.

Genet sighs with a smile.

That was fun.

That was the most fun he's had in… awhile. The bug race didn't count, because Dumpster's bug won. He knew he should have picked the beetle.

Speaking of Dumpster… 

"Where's Dumpster?" Genet asks, looking around for the bird. Genet hears a tweet nearby, and sees Dumpster perched on the headboard of the bed. She cocks her head and then quickly hops over, landing on Genet's knee. A soft smile spreads across Genet's face as he gently runs his fingers through her feathers. 

Yuu looks at him with a disgruntled scowl on his face. "Che.  _ That's _ what you named it?"

Genet frowns, crossing his arms. "It seemed fitting."

Alma walks into the room carrying a towel and some clothes. "Well I like it." He pauses, takes a moment to consider. "Sort of."

Genet huffs, muttering, "definitely real." Dream Alma would have agreed with whatever she said. Well. Probably. Can't account for the bad hallucinations turning him against her. But this doesn't seem like that sort of scenario.

_...hesitantly real. Okay. I can work with that. _

"Genet, I've got some clean clothes for you, and the bath is ready." Alma tells her, with a gentle smile.

…a bath. Where she could wash off his body, and finally wash out that stupid bird's poop from her hair? Genet stands up as if in a dream, and despite her efforts her legs shake, causing Alma to set Genet's arm across his shoulders. Genet winces at the thought of the soiled cloth.

Genet finally makes it to the bathroom adjacent to their room, the hot water from the bath steaming up the mirror above the sink. Genet is sort of glad of that. She's not sure she wants to see herself right now. Taking off his clothes, he slips into the bath, sighing in relief as old aches and pains ease and tense muscles slowly relax.

Now that he's alone and… and safe, maybe, Genet can finally stop to think about everything that's been happening to him. 

Who were those people? They weren't just random hallucinations, were they? They couldn't be, not with the emotions and longing attached to them.

And… 

Genet sinks down in the water, suddenly, desperately wanting to pretend there was something else beneath the surface. Something… different.

_ I hate being a boy. Why can't I just be a girl instead? _

Genet startles at the thought. Why couldn't she? What was stopping her?

Nothing.

Nothing was stopping her.

Smiling at the thought, Genet decides to ask Alma about stealing Tui's makeup to ease him into the idea. Somehow she finds the thought of revealing it right away to be nauseating. Taking some shampoo, she does something she has been dreaming of doing for an uncountable number of days. 

She washes her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Genet's officially trans!
> 
> Not that there's a word for that in the late 1800's... 
> 
> But eh, I'll see if I really want to stick to what's accurate in the 1800's or not. Hoshino sure didn't. I've done some research, so the D. Gray-Man world is either an alternate reality from how the 1800's really were or Hoshino didn't want the tone of her story to be in such a grim setting. Maybe both. (Or she didn't do her homework. But I'd like to think better of her than that).
> 
> Also, I've changed the chapter titles so they're themed together with each Arc of the story. This Arc, is of course, called, **From the Frying Pan and Into the Fire.** I hope you enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> So, about that headcanon.
> 
> To me, it would make _no sense_ for Alma to have been reassigned gender at birth male when before they were afab _unless_ the scientists made every single test subject male. 
> 
> Why would they do that? My guess would be so the test subjects couldn't inbreed when they were older and create more children like them. 
> 
> Unless the answer is "because Hoshino wanted it to be that way," which is plausible, but which I refuse to accept for my headcanons.
> 
> Also, you have no idea how many times I had to backspace because I typed "she" for Genet and "they" for Alma. It goes against my brain to keep misgendering them. :( Hopefully one or both of them have a revelation soon… (though Alma is a lot closer to that than Genet is).
> 
> Also, I'm using an AU headcanon that the test subjects use past memories, well, past knowledge and information from their past lives. Because it just doesn't make sense to me that Kanda would learn everything he needed to know about life in 9 years. :/ He literally only has 9 years of experience in canon, and all of it he spent fighting in a war. So, yeah. Past memories/experiences. 
> 
> That doesn't mean they remember who they were though! Though those memories are closer to the surface... 
> 
> Alright, see you next chap!


End file.
